As a woman who has been told to smile on more than one occasion in the workplace, it is male privilege that allows men leaders to be ALL of themselves ALL of the time.

Women, on the other hand, are constantly adjusting body language, hair, tone of voice, cadence, volume, make-up and clothing to be viewed as competent AND likable, when the world of work is not designed for every boss to be liked.

Hillary is a boss!

You don’t have to be soft, gentle, kind or mousy with her record and her credentials. We need to evolve and let women leaders be all of themselves all the time.

You have turned her into something that you view as not authentic even though you are the reason for her personality contortions with insane, un-achievable views on what a woman leader should be, look like, sound like, do, etc.

It’s exhausting. So you have a job to do, now add gender poli-ticks, now add race, now add sexual orientation and all the other ways we filter and sort one another.

I don’t want to smile.

I don’t want to mute my $200,000 education.

I’m not always comfortable, why do I have to make you comfortable?

I can do more, go farther, go faster, and no, not everyone will be able to keep up with the pace; but I’m always hired to set the pace – because I’m a boss!

We are all grown, everybody out of the sand box! This ain’t high school, it’s the office. Popularity contests have been replaced by degrees, years of experience, quantifiable impact and an org chart.

You don’t have to like me. I’m leaving right after I do what I said I’d do! I won’t be here long. We ain’t got to be besties. We can’t be.

Wanna know the worst part? You already do, it’s men AND women that want me to adjust.

Ladies, I know you heard Beyonce say “let’s get into formation.” I’m trying to do my WEB DuBois bit and lift as I climb, but you want so desperately to leave me hanging, you don’t care what I can do FOR you.

So I’ll be “out here on my own” much like Irene Cara’s Coco sings in the movie, “Fame.” You’d rather be unsuccessful than let me help you. Your exclusion of me means you fail and you’re alright with that. And I’m alright with the automatic deposit of a check more than three times the size of yours.

We are not in formation, are we sister? We are not sisters, are we stranger? More than a century later the answer is no. The question is Sojourner Truth’s “ain’t I a woman?” And these sisters might as well be wearing hoods.

So I contort, dancing as fast as I can to be their vision of the perfect girl boss with all the time in the world to speak softly, careful to be ever so gentle so employees never suspect that I’m actually asking (hardly; telling – never) them to do anything. I’m to do this in (hurting azz) heels, perfectly accessorized, listening to all their angst whether it began yesterday or a decade ago, in full makeup, all while tracking the timely rotation of outfits.

Hell this got to do with revenue?! How come you ain’t fired these under-performing energy zapping, time wasters. How are we supposed to be successful if I can’t tell them the truth about why they are unsuccessful? Who is this fragile? Who has the privilege to be afforded this fragility?

It’s like playing the game of Taboo at work, where it is neither a game nor fun. Wrong word, wrong emphasis, wrong look and “you get eliminated” (In case you haven’t noticed, I have Mrs. Carter’s “Lemonade” on a constant loop. It is a panacea right now, curing much of what ails me.)

Be a boss.

Make yourself comfortable.

Be gentle with you.

Make that money.

Pay your bills.

Save your money.

Develop yourself.

Keep an eye out for what’s next.

You are always in formation with those who love you.

Work is a part of your life, not your whole life.

If it’s too much or too little, you can choose something else for you. Why? Because you are the boss of you!